Friday, January 14, 2005

January 14th, 2005

GAH! PO'ed at WoW a little bit right now. Found out I can't have both alliance and horde characters on a PvP server. Lame - As - Fuck. So yeah, if you're blind and haven't noticed on the tagboard (or you're checking my archives) you'll note I'm on Ticondrius as "Animegamer" now. I'm most likely going to make "Kyoun" soon too, but I don't know what "horde" race or class i'll give him. Shaman sounds good.

Anyway, I just looked back at that big ol archive to the left here. It's been over two years now since I made this little journal haven. Ironically, in my first post I said this about my ex:

I didnt yell at her or anything, but I vented out what I felt for the past 7 months after our split, and I finally feel closure. I doubt I'll ever talk to her again, as I basically told her "If you are only going to hurt me, I dont want you to ever talk to me in any form ever again." I feel relieved, but I also feel ashamed at what I did, because im sure it hurt her, and my feelings toward her didnt like it.

My how time changes feelings. I really do wish I can change the way how I managed that situation because it still haunts me how it went down. Yes, we both have not talked or seen or heard from each other for over two years now. Have I gotten over it? I would like to think that, but I know deep down it is still hurting me, like a bad DoT disease. (DoT = Damage over Time). Yet, these feelings make me contridictary... much like how I was at that time. This is good because of this, bad because of that. Maybe the fact I haven't had a girlfriend again ever since that split is what is fostering and festering this feelings, but the fact is that I lost some good friends to stupid shit I said during that time. If anyone reading this was part of that time, I apologize for everything that happened leading up to that split and the seven months after. Turmoil does things that makes you think irrationally, and no matter what you say or do, it'll continually happen.

Anyway, enough with my long ass "Piro"-sized rant. I got a traffic ticket to pay and some anime DVD's to return.

-Mood: Slightly feeling everything.

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